Cut from a Special Cloth

"Turn to your neighbor and say, I'm set apart..." were the words that I heard my Bishop say, as I regained focus from what had to have been a 15 min long day dream. I did has he instructed, turned to my neighbor and with a somewhat embarrassed grin repeated his words. While my neighbor may or may not have noticed my diverted attention, it sure as heck felt like she did. I found it quite ironic that the moment I awakened from the daydream; I was given a clear answer to one of my life’s biggest questions, “Why don’t I fit in?”

The daydream took me back to one of my fondest memories as a young adolescent, the youth rites of passage program that I was privileged to participate in at my home church in 1999. The program was named, The Beau Monde Affair. It was designed to increase the values of Christian living among a selected group of youth as well as celebrate our transitions into adulthood.

Beau Monde, as it is often referenced at church, through countless fun and sometimes intense activities, created an environment for spiritual growth and development. Through each of the core components, we explored our unique spiritual gifts, and established high ideals and self-awareness. We studied the bible, showcased our talents, acquired social graces and etiquette, engaged in structured leadership and developed lasting friendships some of which we still hold today.

After the year long process of learning, training and development we concluded our passage with a cotillion ball where we dined with, ballroom danced for and were presented to our families, friends and church family as spirit led, pruned young men and women, ready to conquer the world. During the ceremony each debutante and beau was tasked with giving the testimonies of personal accounts of our relationships with Jesus Christ. We had to explain what being a Christian meant to us and why we felt we were ready to make a debut for Christ.

Developing our testimonies was an ongoing task that we worked on for the duration of the program. We planned, wrote and revised… planned, wrote and revised some more until they were perfect. Well not so much for me. You see, developing my testimony as a then 16 year old girl was extremely difficult. Unlike my fellow debutantes and beaus, I was never presented with any hardships that, in my mind, that were worthy enough for a powerful testimony. I couldn't talk about being a product of a broken family, surviving homelessness, managing diseases, overcoming sexual abuse or molestation; I couldn’t discuss my academic struggles or having to raise siblings due to the negligence of a deadbeat parent. None of these were my lot, therefore making it very challenging for me to develop a deep, life changing, memorable, stand in front of the whole church, heart piercing testimony.

So what then would I discuss? The time, as a 10 year old, I fell down a whole flight of stairs sporting my new rider boots, after having been warned by my mother not to wear them in the house since it was too slippery? Or the time, as an eight year old that I didn’t get ANYTHING for Christmas for misbehaving in school? These along with other minor “difficulties” did not lend themselves to what I would deem as a notable testimony.

So, I finally built up enough courage to publicly admit my dilemma to our writing coach during a private coaching session. She gave me words that I have hidden in the secret diary of my heart. She told me that I was special, that I was blessed. She said, “…the most effective testimonies are the true ones. The ones that are authentic, the ones from the heart.”  She encouraged me to use my life, and the then lack of hardship as the testimony. She instructed me to never devalue the blessing of God’s shield of protection that He gives to us as safeguard against the enemy.

After meeting with her, although I was still a bit nervous and had no idea where to start, I felt the weight of a huge load lift from my shoulders  and I began to write…

Me and my beau waiting to deliver our speeches.
Can't you see the anxiety on my face?

It was my turn to approach the podium and deliver my testimony. I can’t recall who preceded me. But I do know that they received a standing ovation and a big cheesy smile from our Pastor. Talk about being nervous.

I had accepted accolades all evening of how stunning I looked and received congrats for receiving the award for most interpersonal of our bunch, but none of that readied me for what was one of my most fearful moments in my teenage life. Keep in mind nobody, other than our writing coach was privy to hearing our “speeches” before now. Not even our parents!!!!

“Next up is debutante, Miss Sophia Gibson.” Silence. You could hear a mouse run across the floor. I gave it all I had. I talked about how blessed my life had been. I talked about how at times I felt like the odd man out since many of my peers had been through and survived struggles that I could not imagine. I talked about that shield of protection that God placed over my life that I took for granted. Before I knew it I delivered, and at the conclusion of what seemed like the longest 3-4 minutes of my life the audience was on their feet. I looked into the crowd at my mother who, with tears in her eyes, looked like she couldn't have been more proud.

Well after the excitement from the audience died down, my pastor, now Bishop left me with one of his most profound Thomas Axioms. He said, “Well done Sophia. You are indeed blessed. Your mom and dad must be proud of you. Let me remind though, you that you are never to measure the value of your life based on the lives of others. Remember you are cut from a special cloth. And know that there will come a time where God will PROVE Himself to you and you’ll be able to say confidently, without question, I've got a testimony. Just keep on living baby. Well done!”

After that I exhaled. I have held on to those words for much of my adult life. And to no surprise I “kept on living” and now have experience after experience that allows me to confidently say that I've got a testimony. The Lord has truly been good to me and His hand is surely upon my life.

So to any one of you who are feeling or may have ever felt like you just didn't fit in or if your life seems to just be drifting along without any apparent plan, know that you are unique and special in your design and God surely has His hand on you too. Be blessed.


“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations”. Jeremiah 1:5